How to Find Freedom from Obesity

One of my best childhood memories is of the tiny tumbler Olga Korbut springing her way into the history books. I remember thinking she was as light as a grain of sand — and as strong as granite.

What she did seemed effortless, but even back then (having taken gymnastics at school and barely mastering a back walkover) I knew her accomplishments were a result of a lot of sweat, persistence, and bravery. Her success was no stroke of luck.

When she dismounted from the uneven parallel bars and “stuck” her landing, I understood that even the landing, and the victory pose, was the result of — and celebration of –great determination and effort.

Along the same lines, I knew reaching my goal after WLS and “sticking” my landing (i.e., making the loss last) was a reflection of my sweat, persistence, and bravery. My success was no stroke of luck, either.

After my Olympian efforts to lose my excess weight, I wanted desperately to “stick” my landing — reach my goal, unwaveringly, and stand in victory.

Yet, as time passed, I wavered. Tested the limits. Regressed. Regained.

Thankfully, I still had a little of the Olympian spirit in me. I knew that I was going to have to muster all my strength and courage turn my situation around.

I also thought about how hard Olga must have worked for her victory.

I had worked hard over the years! I had strived and sacrificed, sweated and strained, pushed and persisted to leave my obesity behind for good. Surely there is more to freedom from obesity than simply working hard.

What helped to make Olga successful? She surrendered to a proven process, and undoubtedly, to a collection of knowledgeable people supporting and guiding her along the way — coaches, teammates, cheerleaders, and even fans.

That’s when it hit me. I had to surrender. “Surrender,” you ask? Yes, surrender. It’s a strong word that often conjures up failed attempts and “giving up.” But when I decided to surrender, I said goodbye to the old me and the things that weren’t working.

I surrendered my isolation (which I called self reliance) and asked for help.

Making the brave decision to get out of my own way was not failure. It was maturity and grit. I realized I wanted to win as desperately as Olga did.

Even the most successful people in the world need help to develop mastery in their pursuits and to find a sense of freedom from their old, familiar struggles.

So I sought help, too. I told myself, “That’s what people who are hungry to succeed do!” All WLS patients have had the experience of surrendering. The decision to undergo WLS is a lesson in surrender.

You surrendered to the idea that simply working hard (i.e., extreme dieting) would be enough to reach and maintain goal weight.

Over time, I have come to understand that surrendering physically to the surgery was not enough. I needed to surrender mentally and emotionally, too.

This meant I would have to transform more than my body to find my freedom from obesity. Sometimes, it’s a scary process. You may feel as though you are giving up control.

I want to assure you that the opposite is true.

Right now, all the Type A personalities who are reading this article are gritting their teeth.

But, what I have found in my own experience, and with all of my coaching clients, is that only when we surrender do we find freedom.

I had to surrender to the idea that I could do this all by myself, that I already had all the answers (and nothing worked!), and that I didn’t have the time or self worth to make my health needs a permanent priority.

Only when I truly surrendered did I begin to transform at a much deeper level — at a level that can give me long-term freedom from the agony of obesity.

Surrender is when you take responsibility for your health, open your mind to new perspectives and strategies, and become willing to transform physically, mentally, and emotionally. That is where true freedom lies.

Are you free today?

I invite you to wave the white flag of surrender and know that you are not giving up, but surrendering what wasn’t working in favor of what will.

With a decision to surrender; to turn from old ways of thinking, feeling, believing, and behaving; you too can land long-term WLS success — and make it stick.

Katie Jay, MSW is the director of the National Association for Weight Loss Surgery. Get Katie’s free report, “How to Regain-proof Your Weight Loss Surgery” when you sign up for her complimentary newsletter for bariatric patients and professionals at http://www.nawls.com.