When the conversation was over I thought about the high school world; that sometimes wonderful, sometimes brutal mirror of the adult world. Where we deal with bosses, they deal with teachers. Both can be unreasonable; we need to fulfill our obligations when we’d much rather be having fun. And we do it all surrounded by couples. Teenagers do it all in one stifling building; sucks to be them.
This one small exchange with my adolescent sister made me realize that not a lot changes between groups of gals as we grow up. For better or worse, we’re always comparing our lives to those of our close contemporaries. This is true when it comes to clothes, careers and, particularly, love lives.
We’re all familiar with the feelings that come with coveting something a friend has and by this point in our lives, I assume with optimism that we all know (at least in theory) how to transfer that jealous energy into positive motivation to make changes in our own lives; envying a pal’s awesome promotion could instigate renewed dedication to furthering your own careers, et cetera.
While it’s not difficult to channel your jealousy where promotions or living space is concerned, it’s much more difficult when it comes to relationships. When we see our friends happily attached it only brings home the poignancy that you’re neither. The green eyed monster is in overdrive.
Not only are you a victim of your own jealousy, but your friends with boyfriends or husbands become victims as well. Think of it this way. When you meet someone new and wonderful and become part of a happy couple, who do you want to share it with? Your friends! You also want them to share your happiness and be happy for you.
While most of friends will do both, there is often one exception. This friend will find your happiness very difficult to swallow as it reminds them of their own single status. They’re bitter about it, wallow in it, and have no qualms about letting you know it. To them I say knock it off! It’s selfish, and makes it hard to be happy.
My advice: address the problem directly. If you have that one friend is us perpetually single, endlessly bitching about it, and unnecessarily making you feel guilty for being happily affiliated, it’s time for an intervention. Don’t throw accusations and get upset; she’s in a vulnerable position and her behavior is indicative that she’s already not feeling too hot about herself. Try not to make it sound like you’re angry, or that she’s going to lose you as a friend but do be clear. You are allowed to be happy.
This article was developed by the staff of the Datepad.com free internet dating company where you can find hundreds more helpful dating articles.
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